Clearing It Up: 3 Things Empowered Parenting Is Not

Empowered Parenting is not permissive - it's a way to prepare your children to face the real world confidently and competently!

mom talking with child

   Let’s face it; there are a ton of different thoughts on parenting out there.  Some of them are awesome, and others might make you a little nervous and uncomfortable.  Positive parenting has risen in popularity recently, and included under that umbrella is Empowered Parenting.  With the increased focus on it, misconceptions have also shown up.

        Before we get into three common misconceptions, let’s quickly talk about what Empowered Parenting is so you better understand what it is not.  Empowered Parenting is founded on having a strong relationship at the center of your parenting.  Discipline focuses on teaching skills and lessons that help in the short-term and the long-term for the child.  The goal is to use methods that keep the integrity and character of both the parent and child intact.

                It’s called Empowered Parenting because each parent that uses it is required to know who they are and what they want to accomplish in this role.  Empowered Parents have a vision for what they want to achieve, the values and skills they want to teach, and the strengths they have that will help them get there.  They also know their limitations and their reactions so that instead of losing their temper, they can manage the situation that is still constructive rather than destructive.

                Empowered Parenting is not easy.  In fact, if you are genuinely engaging in this type of parenting, you’re going to find there is a lot of work and effort that goes into it.  That’s what happens when your focus is on relationship building and skill teaching.  This is a powerful way to parent your children, and it will help prepare them for the world that awaits them when they leave your home.  With all that in mind, let’s clear up some common misconceptions about this parenting style.

Misconception #1:  Empowered Parenting is Permissive

mom comforting son

                Empowered Parenting does not use physical punishment or other power-based methods to get things done.  With its focus on the relationship and skill teaching, different schools of parenting focused more on authority and power have labeled this style of parenting as permissive.  The fear is that without strict and harsh punishment, the child gets their way, and the parent loses.

                The win-lose approach of the power-method of parenting is in direct conflict with the win-win nature of Empowered Parenting.  However, this does not mean that there is not discipline happening.  Empowered Parents are firm with their expectations and incorporate limits and consequences when a child’s behavior calls for it.  They go in a different direction than punishment, as they want the child to learn new skills to manage themselves and their decision-making abilities better.  There is not a reason to tear the child down; instead, the focus is on building them up!

                Just because Empowered Parenting does not rely on lectures, spanking, or yelling does not mean that it is permissive and the child gets away with whatever they want.  Children get more freedom when they demonstrate the ability to handle freedom in responsible ways.  There is a lot of teaching and time that goes into this, and it is definitely not permissive or the easy way out!

Misconception #2:  Empowered Parenting is Enabling

dad dealing with son's tantrum

                Another popular parenting style, Helicopter Parenting, has become more and more common.  This style of parenting looks to keep the child from failing, feeling any pain or discomfort, and protects the child at any cost.  Recent research has shown this parenting style to have dangerous outcomes, such as children not learning to handle and cope with their own experiences.  This style of parenting is enabling, as parents will bail out their children at every corner when needed.

                Empowered Parenting is not Helicopter Parenting, nor is it enabling.  Children face the consequences of their behavior and are not sheltered from the embarrassment, stress, or struggle from their choices.  Yes, Empowered Parents make sure their children are safe, and they also focus on helping their children learn about accountability, how to make amends with others, and ways to solve problems and work with others.

                Empowered Parents are realistic in their expectations for their children, and they do not enable them when they make a mistake.  If a child forgets their homework, they are not rushing to the school to solve the problem for the child.  Instead, they let them experience the consequence of not turning in their homework and then problem-solving ways the child can remember it the next time.  Enabling hinders a child’s development, and that is not what Empowered Parenting is about!

Misconception #3:  Empowered Parents Must Be Perfect

mom doing yoga with child

                Empowered Parenting has realistic, though high expectations for the parent and the child.  However, it does not expect parents to be perfect.  In fact, when Empowered Parents make mistakes, struggle to keep their cool, and let their human side show, they have just been given an awesome opportunity to teach their children how to make things right and how to take care of yourself.

                A perfect parent does not exist.  Every one of us will have moments where the stress and challenges of our lives weigh too much on our shoulders, and we act in ways we don’t want to.  Empowered Parents are not an exception here!  It’s okay to embrace your humanness and to know that you will make mistakes.  We are all going through this journey for the first time; mistakes are to be expected.

                Children do not need perfect parents.  They do not need you to be superhuman and to do the impossible.  Your children need you!  Empowered Parents recognize they are enough for their children and let their love and care power them through the tough times.  There is still a need for continual learning and growth, and each day is an opportunity to put this learning into action.  Empowered Parenting is difficult, but it is not impossible like the unrealistic Perfect Parenting style would be!

                Empowered Parenting is a powerful way to raise your children and build the structure of your home.  You will help prepare your children for the adult world, how to have meaningful and positive relationships, and the ability to cope and problem-solve.  Interested in knowing more or how to make this part of your home, you're in the right place, all you need to do is reach out!

Categories: Empowered Parenting